Ever Fixed Mark
by eight percent
Summary: AKA 'Much Ado About SVU'. Some Benson/Barba. Some Rollins/Carisi. And one of the oldest plots in the book.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: A booze-tinged conversation went from Shakespeare to SVU to writing… this.

Ever Fixed Mark

Ch I

"Are you sure there's nothing you can do to stop this?"

Liv followed the counsellor's gaze, grimacing slightly when she spotted Rollins and Carisi performing mouth to mouth, "I'm sure. And I certainly can't do anything to stop it outside of the precinct."

Fin smirked at his two companions but neither noticed; as appalled as they both claimed to be at the sight they couldn't seem to look away, either. Personally, he was okay with the two detectives being together and, much to Liv and Barba's obvious displeasure, so were the higher ups. Rollins and Carisi held the same rank so when they'd disclosed their relationship and Liv had fed the news up the line, Chief Dodds had been, quite surprisingly, happy for things to remain as they were in the squad. However, Fin had to admit that he could quite happily live without the very public displays of affection that they, and the rest of the bar, had been forced to endure tonight. Amanda was like his little sister and no man liked to see that kind of shit. He took another gulp of beer, his attention still firmly fixed on the older couple even if it seemed as though they'd forgotten he was there.

The ADA continued to watch the other end of the bar and when he spoke again his words, this time laced with disbelief rather than disgust, were still directed entirely toward Liv, "Is he doing what I think he's doing?"

"Yes," Liv frowned, that one word perfectly mirroring Barba's reaction. "He's proposing. And it looks like she just said yes."

The words made Fin draw his gaze toward the younger couple and in time to see Carisi rising to his feet, his lanky frame quickly swamped by a beaming Amanda. Sure enough, there was something sparkling on the ring finger of her left hand and his smirk softened into a genuine smile. It did seem way too early to be popping the question - unless the whole thing had been going on for much longer than they'd claimed - but he couldn't deny that the two of them seemed to make each other very happy. Amanda deserved a good guy in her life, and her daughter's too, and despite his initial concerns, and that moustache, Carisi had turned out to be exactly that. Of course, he'd still have to warn the younger man about the consequences of breaking Amanda's heart.

Barba finally turned his gaze away from the loved up couple, fixing it once again on Liv before carrying on his conversation with her. "They're probably going to write their own vows," he griped, seemingly completely unmoved by the scene that had just played out in front of him.

"And they'll be as sickening as they are long," the Lieutenant agreed as she resettled her gaze on Barba.

Those two, Fin mused silently to himself, had to be the most cynical people he had ever met. To a certain degree he could understand Liv's reaction; he'd watched, from the sidelines, as every relationship she'd begun inevitably ended, sometimes in tears but mostly with nothing more than indifference. It was difficult to not give up on love, which was what he assumed Barba had done a long time ago. If either of them had someone to go home to he was sure that they would be a little more forgiving. Hell, they probably wouldn't be sat here now if they did; he wouldn't be sat here now if he had someone special in his life but at least he could still be happy for Amanda and Carisi.

As the newly engaged couple made their way to the table both Liv and Barba, much to Fin's continuing amusement, hastily pasted on smiles. They even managed to hold them in place as Carisi, quite unnecessarily, announced the good news as if the entire bar hadn't just witnessed the event. He had to work even harder to not laugh out loud as Liv dutifully admired Amanda's engagement ring and Barba vigorously shook Carisi's hand. It was almost sobering how well they pulled off their congratulations but a mischievous streak had him proposing a toast to the young couple just so Liv and Barba had to continue their charade a little longer.

Barba quickly downed the last of his scotch on the toast, that smile still pasted on his mouth even as he muttered both his apologies and goodbyes. Liv's smile faltered only a little in response and only as she watched the ADA leave the building.

"He's probably going back to the office," Liv commented, adding on a despairing shake of her head but there seemed to be disappointment in her voice, too. The rest of the team nodded or murmured their agreement as she rose slowly from her seat, dredging up another wide smile in the process, "I'll get another round of drinks."

Fin watched the woman he counted as one of his friends, as well as his boss, walk toward the bar, her smile already fading. The last twelve months hadn't been the easiest for her - for any of them - and about the only thing he had been able to do to help was take the Sergeant's exam, in the hopes that he could at least take some of the pressure off her shoulders on the work front. He could do nothing about her personal life, though. Liv rarely, if ever, discussed her feelings with him, especially if he enquired, and he wasn't sure she had anyone to confide in other than her shrink. And maybe Barba. As his gaze drifted back to the table, an entirely unexpected conversation had begun.

"We should set Barba up," Carisi blurted out, thankfully too quietly for anyone not at the table to hear. He took hold of Amanda's hand, twining their fingers together as he added on, "He deserves to be happy, like we are."

Amanda's smile faltered, replaced by incredulity at her fiancee's statement. "Barba? Come on! He's a confirmed bachelor. If we're going to meddle in anyone's love life then it should be Liv's. She deserves to be happy, too and she's been known to actually go out on a date from time to time."

Starting to feel like a third wheel all over again, Fin's eyes strayed back to Liv as he contemplated Amanda's words. The Lieutenant's smile had now gone completely, replaced by the frown he had become so accustomed to seeing over the years. Amanda was right: Liv deserved to be happy. Sure, Noah coming into her life had brought her so much joy but, as Amanda had pointed out, Liv still seemed to yearn for something more. Someone more. For a short while there it had seemed as though Liv had found the right man but her relationship with Tucker had crashed and burned, just like all of the others.

"Lieu would have our badges," Carisi replied, shaking his head at Rollins' suggestion.

"And Barba would talk Liv into taking our badges," Rollins countered. "You know those two are thick as thieves."

"When they're not fighting, anyway."

Although Fin found himself agreeing his co-workers' assessment of Liv and Barba's friendship, he remained silent. On a purely professional level, he liked Barba; the ADA had come through for them time after time and though he had a sharp tongue he reserved it mostly for defence counsellors or their clients. On a personal level, he barely knew the guy. The lawyer's presence tonight, to celebrate the end of a tough case (and Carisi's anniversary of joining the squad which had been delayed because of said case) was an unusual occurrence but he still hadn't managed to exchange more than a few words with the other man and most of those had been work-related. Barba was a difficult man to get to know but not everyone had that problem.

As usual, Liv had received most of Barba's attention tonight and Fin could understand that; Liv was an attractive woman with both brains and balls. If he hadn't learnt the hard way not to take anyone from the job home with him then he might look at Liv the same way Barba sometimes did. Whatever Liv saw in Barba would probably always remain a mystery, even if he could get her to explain it to him, but he trusted her judgement of the other man.

"They always manage to make up," Rollins continued.

Carisi nodded, his forehead crinkling in thought, "You don't think…?"

"That they'd be great together?"

Now that they had started finishing each other's sentences, Fin found himself silently agreeing with Liv's comment: they were kind of nauseating. He cleared his throat loudly, effectively ending the discussion, and then took another swig of beer. Amaro had once made a similar observation about Benson and Barba, albeit with disgust rather than excitement, which Fin had simply shrugged off at the time because Nick'd had a tendency to be overly protective of Liv. But the suggestion that there was something more between Liv and Barba than just their friendship had stayed with him, making itself known from time to time; whenever he noticed, through the glass of her office window, the smile that Barba had been able to elicit from Liv or like tonight, when he was sure that she was the only reason the ADA had made an appearance, he'd wonder why there wasn't something going on between them. He'd always figured that they'd work it out themselves eventually but they were taking their time. And now the whole squad had beaten them to it.

"You two need to be quiet," he warned, nodding his head toward the direction of the bar where Liv was returning with a bottle of something fizzy and expensive, and a set of equally classy glasses on a tray. His younger colleagues followed his gaze and wisely said no more but Fin figured that, caught up in their little love bubble, they were probably still thinking about it. He shook his head when the two of them grinned at each other in a way that suggested they were going to go even further than thought and actually do something. Probably something very stupid, at that. The best thing to do was shut this down completely, even if that meant pulling rank on them, because Liv would be… well, livid if she ever found out that they were even thinking about interfering in her personal life.

On the other hand, she didn't really have a personal life outside of being a cop and a Mom. Maybe he was getting carried along by the air of romance, or maybe he just didn't want Amanda and Carisi interfering in his own love life if he did put a stop to this, but he was slowly warming to the idea of a proactive approach. It would take some more thought, some careful planning, a little subtlety and a newly-promoted Sergeant's guiding hand but perhaps giving Liv and Barba a nudge in the right direction might help them figure things out. He leaned in closer to his colleagues and said lowly, "But the three of us should continue this conversation later."


	2. Chapter 2

Ever Fixed Mark

Ch II

The word 'no' had been on the tip of his tongue, an immediate reaction to both the question and Carisi's decision to ambush him with it the moment he'd stepped out of the elevator. Surprise that the detective wanted him to be best man at the wedding had stayed that refusal; they weren't related, weren't exactly friends and hadn't really known each other all that long or even that well. He'd helped the younger man in his quest to pass the bar but that had been done begrudgingly at best and Rafael was sure that there must be someone more deserving of the honour because he didn't really want it, never mind deserve it. In truth, ever since he'd witnessed the proposal the other week he'd been working on a polite way to decline the inevitable invitation to the wedding. It wasn't that he disliked Carisi or Rollins (he'd never admit it out loud but he had a soft spot for the entire squad) it was more that their happiness only reminded him of what he didn't have.

For some reason it had been the word 'yes' that had left his mouth just a few seconds ago and now that Carisi was practically skipping down the corridor, he was left wondering why. It must have been that soft spot because he did not like weddings; he wasn't even sure that he agreed with marriage. The close up view of his parents' unhappy union hadn't set the best example and he had seen, and heard, enough in court whilst prosecuting domestic violence cases to know that marriage did not always end in a happy ever after. Carisi walked into the squad room, disappearing from his view and Rafael sighed quietly to himself; he was going to have to wear a suit of the younger man's choosing, too. The situation seemed entirely unsalvageable but there was one thing guaranteed to raise his flagging spirits: commiserating with Liv. She would find his predicament amusing and that smile of hers never failed to brighten his day. Unfortunately, as he made his way into the squad room, it quickly became apparent that Liv was not present.

Instead, it was Sergeant Tutuola who greeted him and who had been the one to call him earlier, inviting him over for an update on their current case. "Liv won't be long," the Sergeant explained, gesturing with a hand to the other end of the squad room. "Do you want to wait in her office?"

Rafael, more annoyed at her absence than with the Sergeant, agreed with a curt nod, striding toward Liv's office and stepping inside. They could start without Liv but neither man was willing to suggest as much. Sergeant Tutuola had followed in his wake and offered an apologetic smile before he closed the door, giving Rafael some privacy. He inched forward, sighing again before dropping his briefcase on to one of the chairs that sat opposite her desk. He figured he could use the time to review his files on the case but he got no further than that as the sound of Carisi's voice broke into the office.

"I told you Barba would say yes. He's not such a bad guy, Amanda. He just hides it really well."

Rafael's gaze turned toward the large glass window that allowed front row seats to the interrogation room next door, finding Carisi smiling triumphantly at a seated Detective Rollins. The younger man's happiness was partly his doing and he felt a little pang of guilt for even thinking about turning Carisi down, especially as the detective was now, kind of, defending him. Naturally, he was also a little offended that Rollins had apparently thought so badly of him, even if she had been almost right.

"You sound just like Liv," Rollins replied as Rafael made his way toward the intercom, intent on muting the conversation, but the next words out of the female detective's mouth stopped him in his tracks. "Of course, she's in love with Barba."

"The Lieutenant's in love with Barba?"

The disbelief in Carisi's voice at Rollins' casual disclosure quickly overpowered his own doubt, turning it toward annoyance though both emotions continued to hold him in place. Liv being in love with him wasn't an entirely implausible scenario; he was smart, handsome and successful, a combination that had numerous women making women advances toward him. Admittedly, those women were never Liv. His annoyance faded as quickly as it had appeared, making way for doubt once again because Liv was his friend and nothing more. Rollins had simply made a mistake or, perhaps even more likely, she was just winding up Carisi. Liv had told him how her squad had been teasing the detective over the amount of time he'd spent at the DA's office whilst studying for his law degree. He'd almost convinced himself that was the only possible explanation when Rollins spoke again.

"Head over heels and has been for a long time. It's why it never worked out with her and Tucker."

Behind the glass, Carisi shook his head but had apparently been swayed by Rollins' words, "I don't understand… Why doesn't she just tell him how she feels?"

Rafael took a step closer to the glass even though it did little to enhance either the sound or the view. It briefly crossed his mind that he should flip the switch and give them their privacy but they were talking about him. Technically, they were talking about him and Liv but he felt sure that she'd want to know that she was the subject of gossip, too. They would probably laugh about this later and then plot their revenge over cocktails. Unless…

Unless what Rollins was claiming was true and Liv already knew because she really was in love with him. He knew that they sometimes took their kids to the park together but he hadn't realised that Liv confided in the younger woman. The thought that she had, and this was somehow true, kept his hands firmly at his sides and his heart hanging on to every word out of the detectives' mouths.

Rollins stood, gathering up the files that had been on the table, "There's no point. I mean… It's Barba. The only thing he's interested in is his career."

"That's harsh but very true," Carisi agreed. "And kind of sad. Liv's smart, kind, willingly spends time with Barba and defends him even when she's angry with him. She's perfect for him." The detective sighed and shook his head again, this time in a disapproving manner, "Barba's one of the smartest guys I know but he can be really dumb sometimes."

Opening his mouth to object, Rafael quickly shut it again. They couldn't hear him and even if he stormed into the room next door and confronted them both he'd have to admit that he had been listening in on their conversation. But he wanted to tell them how wrong they were. How wrong Liv was. It was true that his career, and winning every case, had meant everything to him; it was even fair to say that he'd viewed his transfer to Manhattan SVU as nothing more than a stepping stone on his way to bigger and better things. But then he'd met Liv. Five years later he was still here, taking on cases he sometimes had little chance of winning, just because Liv had convinced him that it was the right thing to do. Just because Liv was here. Carisi was right about one thing, though: Liv was the perfect woman for him.

It was hard to put his finger on exactly when his feelings for Liv had deepened into love. They'd fought a little in the beginning but their verbal sparring had usually had more spark than malice and then Lewis had taken her away. When she'd fought her way back she'd wanted things to remain unchanged but, for him, it was already too late: he already cared about her. His feelings had been more protective than anything else and he'd channelled them in to helping Liv get through the trial, and then supporting her when she took charge of the squad, but by the time she'd ditched Cassidy they'd definitely changed because his first thought upon hearing about the break up had been to ask her out on a date.

Rollins made a tutting sound, dragging Rafael's attention back to the interview room where she was agreeing whole heartedly with Carisi, "I know, right? And Liv's so unhappy. It's hard for her seeing him all the time, working so closely with him."

Carisi pouted on the other side of the glass, "Is there something we can do? Maybe I could talk to Barba-"

"Absolutely not," Rollins practically shouted, sharply cutting the other detective off. "Liv would freak out and he probably would, too. We'll just have to hope that Barba comes to his senses and realises what he's been missing out on all this time," she suggested before putting down the files and fishing her phone out of her pocket.

Rafael closed his eyes and rested his head against the cool glass, now completely aware of what he'd been missing out on. He hadn't asked her out back then because Lewis had made an unexpected reappearance, drawing her away and torturing her once again. Not long after that she'd started fostering Noah and the baby had made him reconsider the situation entirely; he didn't dislike kids, he had just wanted to give Liv and Noah the time and space to bond. And he hadn't wanted Child Services to look on his presence in her life unfavourably, hurting Liv's chances of adopting the little boy. Not long after the adoption process had been completed, before he could make a move, cracks had started to appear in their friendship and when, months later, he'd found out that she was sleeping with Tucker, he'd realised why it had been such a struggle to repair the damage. And he'd realised something that he hadn't even considered before: Liv was not interested in him.

It wasn't the fact that she was dating another man that had made him so sure of that; it had been her reaction to the jealousy that had raged through his veins at her disclosure, spilling its way out into his voice when he'd told her to leave. Liv had never commented on it; not that night and not even after she'd parted ways with Tucker. Certain that her silence on the events of that night was out of disinterest, or maybe even embarrassment, he'd consoled himself with their friendship, determined to strengthen it once more but never quite managing to fall out of love with Liv. But maybe he'd got it all wrong; if Liv really thought that he wasn't interested in her then maybe his jealousy had only sounded like anger. Maybe it had only felt like rejection.

"Who's that?"

"Declan," Rollins answered and Rafael opened his eyes in time to see her garnish that response with a casual shrug of the shoulders before quickly shoving the phone back into her pocket. "He's going to be in town and wants to see Jesse."

The change in topic of conversation made Rafael finally mute the sound; it was one thing to listen in to a conversation when it was about himself but another entirely when it was not. The revelations, however, were firmly lodged in his mind and he wasn't sure what had hit him the hardest: the fact that Liv loved him or that he had got her completely wrong. His feet took him, a little unsteadily, away from the observation window, past the chairs and his briefcase, and onto the couch that faced Liv's desk. Sinking down into the material he came to a conclusion about his dazed stupor, running the victor through his mind once more and then over his tongue for the first time, "She loves me."

The empty office offered no response but a smile still lifted both corners of his mouth. In the space of a couple of minutes everything had changed and not just for him: he was going to make Liv so very happy. Her and her son because he was all in. If he could have been so wrong about Liv all this time then maybe he was wrong about marriage, too. Perhaps the key to success was finding the right person and he'd done that five years ago. No doubt there'd be some fun had at his expense, his reputation would take a hit and he'd probably have to transfer out (because he would never ask her to leave SVU for him) but he'd have Liv - and there was nothing, no-one, he wanted more.

"Hey, Barba."

The greeting surprised him as, lost in thought, he hadn't heard the door open or the noise from outside spill in. He wasn't entirely sure how long he'd been sitting there, thinking about her and their future together. Raising his eyes he watched as Liv walked toward her desk and began to search through the files that lay upon the surface. The urge to walk over there and kiss her senseless almost had him on his feet but his lack of a response prompted another from her before he could act on that impulse.

"Are you okay?" Her hands were still occupied with the paperwork but the movements had ceased and she was now staring at him, a question in her eyes, "You're smiling."

The muscles in his cheeks screamed out 'like an idiot' as an addendum to Liv's words and he tried to tone down what was probably a very stupid grin. She may well love him but she was also struggling with those feelings so he had to tread carefully. He'd never pushed for details about her prior relationships but he had gathered that her heart wasn't something she gave away easily. They needed to have a really long and honest discussion but this wasn't the time nor place for such a talk. "Carisi asked me to be best man," he offered instead.

Shaking her head at him, she refocussed her attention on the files in her hands, filtering through them once more as she spoke, "I hope you let him down gently."

"Actually, I said yes," he admitted, causing her eyes to meet his once again. Disbelief was written so clearly across her face he could trace every letter, which wasn't entirely a surprise; they'd sat and whined, and joked, about Carisi and Rollins before the proposal, and now that there was a marriage on the horizon they'd had plenty of new material to explore. Liv had been just as cynical as himself and now he was doing an about turn on her. He shrugged slightly, rising from the couch, "Come for a drink with me later on and I'll tell you all about it."

Liv smiled apologetically at him, "I'm sorry, I can't tonight. I promised Noah that I'd be home in time for dinner. Another time, though? I want to know what's brought about this change of heart."

"Sure," he agreed easily. He knew that Noah would always come first but now that he also knew he had a place in Liv's heart too, her rejection didn't disappoint so much. Nor did it deter him. He was going to pursue this further and when they did finally have that drink together he was going to tell her exactly what had changed. And then he was going to love her so deeply, so entirely, that when he asked her to marry him she'd believe in 'happy ever after', too.


	3. Chapter 3

Ever Fixed Mark

Ch III

' _I've got it. You're really a closet romantic._ '

Smiling at the text message, Liv hit the 'send' button on her phone and then placed the device down on her desk, repeating the action with her glasses. Almost a week later she had yet to discover why the man who had poked fun, right along with her, at her detectives' blossoming relationship had agreed to be best man at the wedding. A date with her son had prevented her from accepting Barba's initial offer of drinks and an explanation, and they had yet to reschedule. That had been mostly her doing - there was work and Noah and not enough hours in the day - but any ideas she might have had about getting the whole story from him during a break in the working day had been met with resistance and a further invitation for drinks. After all of their ups and downs she was too pleased that their friendship was back to a place where they could tease each other to question his silence too much. Hence her text message to him.

This time of the day, he was probably, much like herself, still busy at work so she didn't expect an immediate response but her phone buzzed and she quickly picked it up, keeping the device at arms length in order to read the message without reaching for her glasses.

' _You've got me._ '

Her smile broadened at his playful response. A couple of days ago in his office, when she'd tried pressing him again on the matter, he'd given her that cocky grin and an assertion that he was the only possible candidate for the role of best man. The man's ego was large but she hadn't bought that explanation either. At this rate, she'd probably only find out why Barba had consented to be part of the ceremony during the speeches afterward - which probably wouldn't be all that long to wait. Rollins and Carisi's plans for the big day were moving on apace, though the former had, after some light hearted teasing from Fin, assured her that it was not going to be a shotgun wedding; they were just in love and happy and didn't want to wait any longer than they had to. And Liv was genuinely happy for them though, if she was being completely honest, she was a little envious, too. All of her relationships had ultimately failed and she'd pretty much given up on finding love. She had Noah and he would always be the most important man in her life.

Placing the phone back down on her desk, her smile fading just a little, she decided to seek out a little 'pick me up' before replying to Barba and then tackling the rest of the paperwork that was piling up on her desk. Pushing back her chair, she stood and headed toward the door, stepping outside her office to find three of her squad also on their feet, huddled in the middle of the floor and seemingly in deep conversation. Rollins noticed her first but the detective quickly averted her gaze to Fin and it was the Sergeant who broke away, turning to step toward her.

"Heading out, Liv?"

Liv stopped, mostly because Fin was now blocking her way, and shook her head, pointing toward the break room for good measure, "I need something to keep me going."

The Sergeant smiled understandingly, a slight nod of his head preceding his next words, "If you want to get home to Noah or anyone else… You know I got this, right?"

It had been a huge relief to her that Fin had been able to remain at SVU as her Sergeant. There was no-one else she trusted more than him in the role and though she would much rather be at home with her son, the reports on her desk would keep her here a little longer. She appreciated his concern; Fin was always telling her that she should delegate more but she knew he hated the administrative side of the job so she was trying to send him out into the field more often instead. Using her position to skip out early on an evening was very tempting some days but not the kind of example she wanted to set to her squad. "I know," she agreed, letting his gentle enquiry into her personal life slide; she rarely confided in those close to her but there was nothing to report anyway.

Suffixing her words with a smile she stepped past Fin, and closer to that much needed sugar rush, leaving her Sergeant standing alone because Rollins and Carisi had already wandered off somewhere. Previous experience had taught her that office romances were not a good idea but she had to give credit to her detectives: they had followed procedure to the letter and had managed to remain professional whilst on the job. As she approached the break room the location of her two detectives quickly became apparent and though she hadn't been able to make out what Carisi had said, just the familiar tone of his voice, Rollins' response was crystal clear.

"Barba's in love with Liv?!"

"Shh!"

Liv stopped dead, just out of sight of the two detectives, though she wasn't exactly sure why. The conversation - the gossiping - that she'd just overheard was clearly untrue. In fact, it was nothing short of preposterous. She and Barba were just friends although that was, admittedly, an outcome that had once seemed just as unthinkable. When he'd first appeared in her life, with an expensive suit and corny lines, she'd pretty much written him off on the spot. They'd had a run of semi permanent ADAs before Barba and she'd assumed that the ambitious lawyer who loved a high profile case would soon be just another name to add to that list.

Five years on, she could admit that she'd got him all wrong; beneath the smart ass comments and even smarter attire was a man who cared about their victims as much as he did about victory in the court room. And she knew that he cared about her, too. Barba had been there for her, through the good and the bad. She also knew that some people read more in to that but she'd expected better from her detectives. Their little love bubble was making them see things that were clearly not there. Taking a couple of steps forward would bring this to an end but instead, and for reasons that were still unclear to her, she didn't move a muscle, choosing to listen in as Carisi continued.

"Someone might hear." The sound of a selection being made on the drink machine punctuated the detective's words and a soda can clunked its way down to the slot before Carisi spoke again, "And Barba told me that in confidence."

"I can't believe it," Rollins exclaimed, her voice a little lower, forcing Liv to lean forward. "Barba's never shown an interest in any woman. Or man."

Nodding her head slightly, Liv could only agree with the female detective, albeit quietly and to herself. Barba was far too focussed on his career to even entertain the idea of a personal life; their conversations drifting away from work over a few drinks and after a long day was as close as he came. He'd shared enough of his past with her to make her believe that it would involve a woman but that woman would never be hers. He had never done or said anything to make her think that he wanted more than just friendship with her and she had accepted that. To an extent, she even understood it. If the gory details and graphic photos of her time with William Lewis hadn't deterred him then the idea of playing Daddy to her son surely had. His discomfort around Noah was almost comical.

Liv cast a furtive glance over her shoulder but no-one in the squad room was looking her way. Most of the detectives were seated at their desks and her Sergeant, with his back to her, seemed glued to his computer screen, too. Wishing she'd brought her phone with her so she could at least seem a little less obvious, Liv remained where she stood, waiting for Carisi to convince Rollins - and, perhaps, herself, too - that he was right about Barba.

"That's because he's hung up on Liv. Has been since the moment he met her; it's why he's stuck around all this time," Carisi continued, countering his fiancee's argument before popping open the can of soda and taking a sip. "He told me that sometimes, when they're alone, it's all he can do not to take her in his arms and kiss her."

"Wow."

Rollins' response seemed to indicate that she'd been persuaded by those few words but Liv remained mostly unswayed. Barba was the kind of man who pursued the things he wanted and if that somehow included her then he'd had plenty of opportunity to make his move. And he hadn't. That he was committed to Manhattan SVU… Well, that only proved once again that her initial assessment of him had been wrong and nothing more. The rest of her detective's statement was a little harder to explain away but she doubted that Barba would share something like that with Carisi. Would he…?

Hesitantly, she edged forward a little, unsure exactly why because she could already hear perfectly well, until Rollins unexpectedly wandered into her view, and Liv was forced to take a bigger step backwards. Holding her breath, she wondered if it would be better to run away or try to brazen the situation out but she was saved from having to make that decision when the detective, having seemingly not spotted her Lieutenant lurking around the corner, continued talking.

"Has he told Liv any of this?"

"I don't think that's ever going to happen," Carisi sighed in response. "He's convinced that she doesn't feel the same way. And that the Lieu only dates cops. There was that thing with Tucker and Barba said that before that she was living with another detective?"

"Cassidy," Rollins helpfully, and all too quickly, supplied.

Staring at the small sliver of the break room that was visible to her, Liv tried to remember to breathe. It was difficult because all she could think about was the possibility that Rafael Barba, the best friend that she'd fallen so slowly in love with, loved her, too. As unlikely as it seemed that Rafael would confide in Carisi (the ADA sometimes acted with barely restrained contempt toward her most enthusiastic detective) the idea that he would play the role of best man at the wedding had seemed just as implausible not too long ago. And though the notion that she only dated cops was a ridiculous one she could concede that, from Rafael's point of view, it could quite easily seem that way. If that was the case she could understand why he had never asked her out on a date or given in to that urge to kiss her; similar misconceptions about Rafael had made her bury her feelings for him. The last traces of doubt fell away, usurped by a more powerful notion: Rafael loved her.

From around the corner Rollins' voice interrupted that thought, "You know that's not actually a rule she lives by, right?"

"It's not?" Carisi sounded genuinely surprised but then quickly recovered, "Maybe I should tell Barba and-"

"No. Don't do that," Rollins interrupted. "I have a great deal of respect for Liv but she has terrible taste in men. Barba's too smart, too handsome, and far too… I don't know. There's just something about that man. It's those eyes. And that mouth-"

Carisi cut her off before she could elucidate further with a clearly annoyed, "Hey!"

Liv was annoyed as well, but not enough to finally walk into the break room and hash it out with Rollins. It would mean admitting that she'd been eavesdropping on the conversation but, more than that, she really didn't feel like trying to defend her previous relationships to a woman who could sometimes see right through her. She'd probably end up admitting that she'd only started seeing Tucker in a fruitless attempt to get over her feelings for Rafael - and that was a secret that she was quite willing to take to her grave, for everyone's sake. In retrospect, that was a conversation she probably should have had with Rollins before she'd accepted Tucker's overtures but although she and Amanda had bonded over their single working mother lifestyles she was still the other woman's Lieutenant and that was a line she was wary of blurring too much.

"You're engaged to me."

An irritated tutting sound followed that statement before Rollins continued, "The point I was trying to make is that Liv would turn Barba down flat if he ever asked her out on a date. And he's not going to want to stick around here any longer if she does that."

"But he can't leave!"

"Aww," Rollins teased. "It'd break your heart, wouldn't it, if he left? Want me to make you feel better?"

A noise that seemed to indicate that Rollins had followed through on her offer filled the air and Liv sank back a little, no longer concerned with the goings on in the break room. Rollins was wrong: there was absolutely no chance of her turning Rafael down but it struck her then, hard and regretfully, that she'd recently made a habit out of turning him down. She had said no to his repeated offers of drinks because, whilst she appreciated both the gesture and his recognition that some cases hit her harder than others, she'd wanted more than just a friendly ear and alcohol might have helped her try to take it, ruining their friendship completely.

Turning on her heel, she headed back to her office, moving through the bull pen in a somewhat dazed state, oblivious to everything around her. The only thought in her head was that Rafael loved her. Once inside her office, she closed the door and sank down into her chair, eyeing the contents of her desk. Her phone was exactly where she'd left it and, after reapplying her glasses, she picked it up and swiped a finger over the screen, bringing it to life. Rafael's message was still on the now brightly lit screen.

' _You've got me._ '

Those words seemed to have a completely different meaning now and she needed to let Rafael know that it hadn't gone unnoticed this time. She needed to tell him that she loved him, too. Sitting back in her chair, she began typing out a response.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N Apologies for the delay. I've been on holiday for a few weeks and didn't get the chance to even pick up a pen.

Ever Fixed Mark

Ch IV

From her vantage point on the bench, which was a discrete distance from her target, Amanda stole a glance at the older woman. Her years in law enforcement had taught her the art of surveillance but she wasn't sure that those skills were necessary today; Liv was far too distracted, her attention alternating between pushing her giggling four year old boy on the swing and scanning the entrances to the park. She'd been more than a little surprised when Liv had told her that she was cancelling their plans to spend Saturday morning at the park so that she could meet Barba there instead. Not for a moment had she thought that Liv would be so upfront about her personal life. Plus, when she'd sat down with Sonny and Fin to discuss the Liv and Barba situation, the Sergeant had pushed for an indirect approach that, although made more sense given that both the Lieutenant and the ADA would probably go on the defensive if approached directly, hadn't seemed to be working out at all.

She would have put money on the always confident Barba making a move once he'd 'accidentally' heard that Liv was in love with him so it was probably for the best that she was over the whole gambling thing. The only difference their interference had made was to increase, and intensify, the longing looks the ADA shot Liv's way. His actions, and lack thereof, had gone from amusing and sweet to downright infuriating; Barba had squared up to a member of a gang who was threatening to kill him and yet he couldn't ask Liv out on a date. He wasn't the only one, either: Liv had remained just as infuriatingly oblivious. The Lieutenant had a huge blind spot where Barba was concerned and Amanda wasn't convinced that it had anything to with the whole 'I don't date lawyers' thing. She was sure that the two of them were perfect for each other. They'd just needed another little 'nudge' in the right direction.

Orchestrating a scenario for Liv to eavesdrop upon had been more difficult. After a couple of wasted attempts she'd suggested to Fin that maybe they needed to change tactics with the Lieutenant but the Sergeant had held his ground. Of course, it had been easier for him; Fin hadn't been out in the trenches, putting words that may or may not be true into other people's mouths - he'd had plausible deniability if the whole thing had ended in disaster. Becoming a Sergeant had changed her friend: he was so much more… politic. At least, he could be when it suited. Fin had recounted Liv's actions as she'd stood outside of the break room, trying to nonchalantly listen in to the conversation that was taking place inside, with much amusement.

Amanda let her eyes stray back to her own child, finding Jesse playing happily in the sand pit with Sonny. Her fiancé had not been pleased when she'd told him that she still wanted to come along to the park; she wasn't sure if he was worried that Liv and Barba might somehow figure out what they'd been up to or if it was because she'd wanted to use her free time spying on her boss rather than planning their wedding. Either way, she wasn't going to miss out on this.

Sonny caught her eye, offering her a weak smile before throwing a nod over his shoulder. She followed the direction toward a figure in the distance and grinned to herself. If Barba hadn't been striding through the park as confidently as he did the court room she might not have recognised him; she'd seen the man dressed casually on a few occasions but she'd never seen the ADA smile like that. Not even after victory in the courtroom. Silently tracking Barba's movements toward Liv, Amanda contemplated her next move. Her intention had just been to observe from afar but, she reasoned, neither Liv nor Barba had held any qualms about eavesdropping on other people's conversations.

With her eyes still glued on the two of them as they exchanged a few words, she rose to her feet, smiling at the awkward wave that Barba offered in response to Noah's vigorous greeting. It was remarkably easy to sneak up on them as Liv was now facing the wrong way and Barba, who could see her if he looked over the Lieutenant's shoulder, seemed oblivious to everyone else in the park except Liv. The start of their conversation was lost to her but as she neared she could clearly hear Barba's voice.

"…a long time. There is nothing in this world that I love more than you, Liv."

Amanda paused, out of shock as much as reaching her intended destination, then turned slightly to one side so that she could both hear and see. She took out her phone and pretended to check her messages, shamelessly continuing to listen in to the conversation that was taking place just a few feet away from her.

"I wanted to tell you that I love you, too," Liv responded, her voice betraying the emotions that Amanda could not see playing out across her face.

"I thought… I was hoping that you did." Barba followed up those words with a smile before cupping Liv's face in his hands and kissing her, hard.

When the Lieutenant grasped on to the hem of the ADA's polo shirt, Amanda took a step back, surprised by the strength of her own reaction to the kiss. The warm glow currently spreading through her body could be the Autumnal sunshine but she doubted it. Fin had joked on several occasions that she was way too invested in Liv and Barba and he'd not been wrong. This whole escapade might have begun the night Sonny had proposed, with euphoria and a few drinks guiding her thoughts, but she did truly care about Liv. If there was one person in this world who deserved a happy ending it was Olivia Benson and maybe Rafael Barba was the person who could provide it: the man would do just about anything for Liv.

Averting her eyes from the sight of the Lieutenant and the ADA, who had yet to let go of each other, she turned on her heel and headed toward the sand pit, phone still in her hand and a smile still lingering on her lips. As she got closer she noticed that her daughter and Sonny had built something that she suspected was supposed to be a castle. Both her daughter and fiancé looked extremely proud of the 'mound' they'd constructed and she made the appropriate sounds of encouragement and praise, still buoyed by the scene that had just played out beside her. Her daughter grinned briefly at her before turning her attention back to the sand and Amanda held Sonny's gaze, nodding her head toward the swings, "Did you see that?"

"Yeah," Sonny smiled brightly. "He is horribly in love with her."

"Oh, that feeling is entirely mutual." Her phone buzzed in her hand and she focussed her gaze upon the device, her smile widening when she realised that it was a text from Fin asking for an update. She knew he'd been far more interested in this morning's outcome than he'd made out. "I can't believe it actually worked," she smiled, turning her attention toward her fiancé once more and leaving the message unanswered. Fin could stew for a little while longer.

"Was that Declan?"

The question was innocent enough but there was an underlying tone to his voice and she bit back a sigh, her happy buzz quickly fading. Declan had been a bone of contention between them ever since she'd received a text message stating that he was back in town and wanted to see Jesse. They'd had their first argument about it just seconds later, right there in the interrogation room, neither of them caring that Barba might still be listening. She understood Sonny's concerns; she even agreed with him. Declan was going to waltz in and out of Jesse's life, missing the important moments and all the everyday stuff that came in between. He would, no doubt, disappoint her daughter over and over again, and, worse than that, Jesse would probably still idolise the man. Declan was her father, after all, and Amanda knew all too well how that story went.

She still couldn't fault her own father even though, in hindsight, his behaviour had sometimes bordered on child endangerment; there was no way she'd ever leave Jesse alone in a car on a freezing cold night. But she'd never stop Jesse from seeing Declan, either; she still harboured resentment at her own mother for 'chasing' her father away and she was damned if she was going to let that piece of Rollins' family history repeat itself with her own child. It had been difficult for Sonny to understand any of that. Slipping the phone back into her pocket, she kept her tone intentionally light when she finally answered, "No."

"Then who was it?"

"Really?" Her happy buzz had now faded entirely, replaced by an anger that reflected darkly in her tone of voice, "You expect me to answer that?"

Sonny's tone wasn't light either as he looked up at her and stated plainly, "It's not a difficult question."

It would be so much easier to admit that it was just the Sergeant and then laugh the whole thing off at Fin's expense but she didn't appreciate being interrogated in the middle of the park by the man who was supposed to be in love with her. By the man she loved. This animosity he was harbouring toward Declan had suddenly taken a sharp turn toward her and she couldn't understand why. "But it is difficult to understand why you don't trust me."

Sonny rose to his feet, brushing errant grains of sand from his jeans as he moved, "Is it, Amanda?" Casting an eye down at Jesse and finding her more interested in a handful of sand, he leaned in closer, keeping his voice low so as to not alert the little girl to the conversation that was quickly turning into an argument, "You and Declan have a child together. You have history together. Is that where it's staying? Or are you planning a future together as well?"

"There is nothing going on between me and Declan other than two people trying to get along for the sake of their child," she ground out, leaning in closer, too, aware that they were on the verge of causing a scene. At their feet her daughter continued to play happily in the sand, oblivious to what was going on above her head. She'd been fairly oblivious to the fact that her father was back in her life, too; Jesse'd had no real understanding that the loud, hairy man who'd come to visit was her biological father and had shied away from him, hiding behind Sonny's legs instead. Her child's reaction hadn't been entirely unexpected; Jesse didn't take too well to strangers, especially men. Sonny might have a huge place in her daughter's affections but he'd been there from the very beginning, soothing her cries, making her laugh and feeding her dinner.

Naturally, Declan had been disappointed by Jesse's reaction and it hadn't helped that Sonny had almost gloated over the fact that he was the little girl's favourite. She'd spent the rest of that afternoon trying to smooth things over with all three of them, with little success. A sigh of relief had been on her lips by the end but then Declan had stolen the breath from her mouth by announcing that he was sticking around for a while, and wanted to be more involved in Jesse's life. She and Sonny had argued again that night but she'd stood her ground, determined to make the situation work. Any plans for the future she had made with Declan had only concerned his access to their daughter. Nothing more. "Why would you even think something like that?"

Sonny briefly looked away, trying in vain to smooth the anger from his face, before finally answering, "Maybe it's because every time I try to talk to you about the wedding you change the subject. It's always Liv and Barba or work or Declan. Do you even want to marry me, Amanda? Or has that all changed now that the real father of your child is back on the scene?"

Shock mingled with anger, binding together to keep her lips sealed. There was a little bit of guilt in there too because she knew that she had been avoiding the subject of their wedding. All the talk about dresses and bridesmaids and flowers and all of the other things that she'd never even thought about when she'd accepted Sonny's proposal had been a little overwhelming. Her fiancé had been in his element; he'd chosen a best man, had his tailor working on the suits and was trying to sweet talk his priest into conducting the wedding. And his family weren't far behind in the enthusiasm stakes, either. She hadn't found a way to suggest slowing things down without crushing Sonny's feelings but she'd never once thought about calling the whole thing off. She might have taken the opportunity to have a dig at Liv about her choice in men but hers had been no better: Nate, Nick and Declan had all turned out to be poor choices. Sonny had been different.

They'd grown closer after she'd fallen pregnant, when most men would have backed away. It had been nothing more than friendship at first and she'd resisted even that but the birth had been traumatic, and she'd needed all the friends she could get; falling in love with one had been an entirely new experience for her. She'd always had a tendency to act impulsively - even her relationship with Nick had grown more out of their conflict than their amity. When she'd suggested to Sonny that maybe they should go out on a proper date instead of pasta and reality television he'd readily agreed. They'd kept their relationship under wraps for months before finally disclosing and though his proposal had been unexpected it had felt right. At least, it had at the time. Now she wasn't so sure.

The suggestion that Sonny thought she was only with him because Declan had not been available felt like a punch to the guts. They couldn't build a future together on that kind of foundation. Stooping down, she picked up Jesse and then slung her daughter's bag over her free shoulder before staring up at Sonny once more. "You know what? I don't want to marry you but it's not because of Declan. It's because you obviously don't trust me."

Silent tears, in stark contrast to her daughter's sudden wails, trickled down her cheeks as she turned and began to walk away, her name a dying whisper on his lips, and the eyes of bystanders following her out of the park.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Last part. Thank you all for reading, reviewing and adding the story to your favourites.

Ever Fixed Mark

Ch V

Sonny glanced down the crowded corridor once more and, after failing to spot Amanda yet again, turned his attention to his watch. There was still plenty of time but that fact didn't do anything to calm the nerves that were claiming his body, from the slow circling in his stomach to the twitches in his leg. Around him, the throngs of people and their accompanying hum of excitement, only exacerbated those feelings. Eyes flickering upward, his height an advantage amongst the sea of mostly unknown people, he scanned the area again, his gaze finally, reluctantly, settling on Sergeant Tutuola. Some kind of cop sixth sense had Fin turn his attention away from the female guest of another wedding party and toward Sonny at that exact moment, causing him to quickly avert his own gaze; the Sergeant still hadn't forgiven him for suggesting that it was himself who was the injured party and not Amanda. But that was okay; he still hadn't forgiven himself. He was fairly sure that Amanda hadn't forgiven him either but as they'd barely spoken to each other since she'd called off the engagement he was holding on to the slim chance that he was wrong.

After the split with Amanda he'd, as impetuously as she'd ended their relationship, requested a transfer from the one-six because working side by side with the woman who'd broken his heart had not been an option. He'd expected the team to side with Amanda and for the most part they had with one, quite unexpected, exception. The ADA had turned up at his apartment with a box of belongings that Amanda had carelessly thrown together and a scorching admonishment. He'd quickly surmised that Amanda had confided in Liv, who had in turn told Barba, but he was still unsure why the other man had got involved. It wasn't because he was supposed to be Best Man at the now ill-fated wedding, as Barba had claimed. And it certainly hadn't been at Liv's urging; the Lieutenant made it clear how disappointed and angry she was with him when she'd signed off on the transfer. He liked to think it was because Barba cared but the ADA wasn't exactly of the 'warm and fuzzy' persuasion.

The man in question walked by yet again, phone clenched in one hand as his thumb scrolled through its contents, and Sonny smiled at the sight. He never thought he'd see Barba get married and even though it wasn't a church wedding, there was something about tying the knot at City Hall that seemed entirely appropriate for both bride and groom. He left the grin in place as he asked, jauntily and loud enough to stop its intended recipient from pacing back across the floor one more time, "Nervous, Counsellor?"

"What? No, of course not," Barba denied, a little too strongly, before quickly tucking the phone into a pocket. "Liv's not going to suddenly call it off," he continued, annoyance tingeing his words and his features until he realised what he'd said. "I didn't mean-"

"It's okay, Barba," Sonny interrupted, and he meant it, but he found that he could no longer hold on to his smile.

Barba shifted his feet, casting a glance toward the entrance, before speaking again, his voice uncharacteristically soft, almost making Sonny believe that he really did care, "You should talk to her. Tell her you've been an idiot and then beg for her forgiveness."

Sonny nodded, his smile slowly resurfacing. For most of the time that he'd known Barba, the ADA had treated him with barely concealed disdain. It had never really bothered him; he'd been eager to learn as much as he could and from the best so a few harsh words were easily dismissed. But since the break up his assertion that Barba was neither warm or fuzzy had been under revision. It'd been the ADA, after chewing him out for accusing Amanda of cheating, who had actually listened to his version of events; admittedly, Barba had then seemed to enjoy making him realise just how big of an idiot he had been that day in the park. And it was the ADA who had persuaded him that he wouldn't be unwelcome if he attended today. In fact, Barba had insisted upon his presence, even if it was as photographer rather than Best Man. "Are you trying to play Cupid, Counsellor?"

"I leave that sort of thing to you and Rollins."

Panic swept through him at those words and he stared mutely at the other man, unable to form a coherent sentence. Or defence. He'd known from the beginning that meddling in the affairs of the Lieutenant and the ADA was crossing a line that should probably be obeyed but Fin had seemed so confident and he'd been carried along by his own enthusiasm. Amanda had just agreed to marry him and he'd never been so happy in all his life. It hadn't felt wrong to want that same kind of happiness for everyone else, especially two people that he greatly respected. One of those two people was now glaring at him, and not in a warm and fuzzy way, and he swallowed slowly, thankful that the other person in the equation was no longer his boss, "We didn't-"

"Relax, Carisi," Barba interrupted, a small grin appearing as he spoke. "By the time Liv and I worked out what you two had done neither of us really cared that much."

Digesting that information, Sonny managed not to sigh in relief too loudly, which only made the other man grin even wider. But then Barba was gone, drawn away toward the entrance and Sonny followed his movements, tracing the source to a small group that was picking its way through the crowds. The Lieutenant was holding on to her son's hand but beside the Bensons, looking more beautiful than he remembered, was Amanda. He watched from a distance as both Liv and Noah smiled happily when they spotted Barba; he figured he'd be lucky if Amanda didn't slap him, quite deservedly, across the face when she spotted him. He'd been assured that she knew he'd be here but he wasn't sure if the advance notice had just given her more time to plot her revenge. When her eyes finally met his and she didn't look away in disgust, hope began to blossom in his chest, chasing away some of the apprehension that had been slowly building since he'd woken, alone and miserable.

He smiled at her, managing to keep it contained rather than the all out goofy that was threatening to escape but he didn't move an inch. He wanted to run to her, get down on his knees and, as Barba had advised, beg for her forgiveness but his feet wouldn't move, cemented to the floor by the fear of rejection. So he watched in a warring state of hope and fear as, after exchanging a few words with Liv, Amanda broke away from the soon to be family of three and walked toward him, Jesse obediently walking beside her. As soon as the little girl set eyes on Sonny she let out a shrieking rendition of his name and then shook off her mother's hand so that she could hurtle, as fast as her little legs could move, toward him. He caught the little girl easily, lifting her up in his arms to rest against his hip. "Hi, Jesse," he smiled, the delight of having the toddler in his arms once again managing to swing his feelings in favour of hope.

"She's missed you," Amanda offered as Jesse laid her head down on Sonny's shoulder, confirming her mother's words.

"I've missed her, too. And you," he blurted out, cursing himself inwardly when her gaze quickly fell away from his. "I'm sorry, Amanda," he rushed out, unsure about what he was apologising for. The list seemed exhaustive.

"I know," Amanda sighed, dragging her eyes back to his and folding her arms. "I got all your messages."

There was little malice in her words but he wouldn't have blamed her if there had been; he'd overstepped a line in that respect. The moment he'd realised that it had been his own jealousy and insecurity that had destroyed his relationship with the woman he loved he'd tried phoning Amanda; to apologise or to explain or maybe even to try and justify his actions but she hadn't answered his call. She'd never answered any of his subsequent calls or replied to any of his text messages. He'd almost gone mad with guilt and regret and self recrimination, and only the thought of upsetting Jesse had stopped him from going to Amanda's apartment and pounding on the door until she answered. It'd been Barba, again, who had intervened, advising him to wait until Amanda was ready to listen. He hoped this was that moment. "That day in the park, I shouldn't have said those things," he began, keeping his voice calm so not to disturb Jesse too much. "It's just… I love you so much and I thought I was losing you. Losing Jesse."

"That worked out well for you."

Despite the snide remark, he smiled; at her and to himself. One of the first things he'd discovered about Detective Rollins was that cutting tongue of hers; the day she'd made that remark about missing his moustache was possibly the day his crush on her had begun. Alas, one of the other things he'd discovered was that there was something going on between her and Amaro. It hadn't dampened his attraction toward her, nor had the news, much later, that she was pregnant. He loved kids and by then he most definitely loved Amanda Rollins. And he'd been okay with Jesse's paternity; Nick would have found some way to criss cross the country to see his child but Declan Murphy was deep under cover in another country. If only it had stayed that way.

Having finally won Amanda's heart, and her hand in marriage, that first text message from Declan had immediately set him on edge. He hadn't been dishonest when he'd raised concerns about Jesse getting hurt by her father but he hadn't been entirely truthful with Amanda either. The idea that Declan might swoop back into his fiancée's life and take her, and her daughter, away from him had been just as big a concern; he should've spoken to Amanda about it because then, when Declan had told him that he was going to make it all come true, he might not have believed the other man. "I was too jealous and too stupid to realise that everything was working out just fine. I let Declan get into my head," he admitted quietly.

Amanda nodded, her arms loosening just a little, "Liv told me about Declan and the things he'd been saying to you. He didn't deny any of it when I confronted him. I'm not sure if he really wanted to try being a family with me and Jesse or if he just didn't want someone else taking his place."

"It doesn't matter," Sonny said, though the exact same thought had crossed his mind a few times. He was surprised to learn that Barba had told Liv all about his dealings with Declan but he stored that information away for future reference and stuck to the matter at hand: his ongoing apology. "Because you were right. I should have trusted you."

"Yeah, you should have," she agreed quickly but then frowned, a sigh escaping her lips as her hands finally uncrossed, coming to hang by her sides. "And I suppose I should have told you that I was finding all the wedding talk a little overwhelming."

He forgave her instantly with a smile because his family could be a little too much, especially en masse. Amanda smiled, too and hope finally won out. "Maybe we could try again," he began, perhaps a little too optimistically.

"Sonny," Amanda sighed, as if she was about to crush his newly embraced confidence, but she said no more than that.

"I'm not asking to pick things up where we left them or do anything right now," he added on, truthfully. They'd had a breakthrough just now but he wasn't so naive to think that it solved everything. He'd have to prove to her that he was no longer that jealous asshole who'd called her out in the middle of a public place. He needed to prove to her that he did trust her, that she could still trust him, and that he could get along with Declan because the man was going to be a part of Jesse's life whether he liked it or not. "But maybe, sometime in the future, if you were willing to give me another chance, we could start over?"

"I'd like that," she smiled.

This time when he smiled it was definitely on the goofy side but he didn't care. He felt like he'd just won the lottery; Amanda was smiling at him and Jesse seemed equally content, laying quietly in his arms. A chance of putting things right was the best he could have hoped for and he'd have to thank Barba for insisting that he attend. Of course, it seemed now that Barba, no doubt along with Liv, had done some meddling of his own. He was reluctant to tear his eyes away from Amanda but he slowly turned toward the ADA and the Lieutenant, part of him expecting to see the pair of them watching on expectantly. But they were too busy recreating that scene from the park to pay any attention to him or Amanda.

He was pleased that things had worked out between Liv and Barba but he really didn't need to see them kissing. It was almost like watching his parents make out; a little uncomfortable but kind of reassuring in a way. He'd feel sorry for Noah but the kid seemed like he had already acclimatised to the new situation. A smirk slowly replaced his discomfort; Barba had told him that getting married to Liv was just to make things easier with the DA and OnePP and whilst he was certain that the higher ups would be happier after today, he knew that it was not for their benefit. Barba was warm and fuzzy; he just reserved it for the Bensons. He turned to Amanda, finding her gaze fixed on the other couple. "Can you believe those two are getting married?"

She smirked, too and her eyes met his, "It's crazy, right? They've been together for what? Two seconds?"

He nodded, sharing a knowing look with her, "This is all our fault."

"That's why we've got front row seats to all of this," Amanda griped but her eyes had strayed back to the older couple and she was smiling fondly at them. That smile faltered as she uttered quietly, "God, I hope they haven't written their own vows."

Sonny frowned, sharing sudden her lack of enthusiasm. "That would be nauseating."


End file.
